by Jay Délise

I am porches, stoops, and marigolds
Sprouted bulbs and honeysuckle
Gold spacers, silver crowns, gapped teeth
Shoe-shine, tobacco leaves
Sugarcane and moonshine
Blue basement ceilings, collard greens
Zoot-Suits, pearls, and
Pantyhose and work boots
Ocean Ave and Bourbon Street

I bleed molasses and sassafras
Keep cinnamon in my pocket, glass bottles for rainy days
I breathe the breeze and drink sweet tea
My hands
Well oiled and calloused
Knead dough; need other hands
I grow dandelions; soft and simple, here without announcement
I smile like I’ve got a direct line
Like I ‘been here before

For me, the end is a sun shower
And often
I wonder what it feels like to put my whole foot on the ground
Speak with my whole mouth
Answer to my own name

And when
I feel like I am I’m racing with time
And grief is winning
Like I don’t know myself not running through smoke screens
Black on my heels
In front of finish lines
Arriving desperate at altars, unable to breathe
I’ll remember the me
Who has already seen this
And laughed

Jay Délise (they/them) (official jester of Sugar Hill) is a writer, theater artist, eater of grapes, and producer based in Harlem, New York. They have performed at The United Nations, The Schomburg Center, The Pulitzer Center, and Carnegie Hall. Their work has been highlighted around the world and in publications including Afropunk, Vagabond City, Glass Poetry Press, and Huffington Post.