I pretend I am a leaf
by Becki Hawkes
I pretend I am a leaf. Obviously
I am the most beautiful leaf in the world.
My bones are strings and all my cells
are flayed to blood and gold. First
we must do the boring bits
where you gaze up at me. Soft, soft
against the light. I buy plant milk
cappuccinos from the hospital Costa,
visit every day, keep you lullaby safe
in the warm wet boughs. I am so good
at hospitals and late-night calls
and no-commitment
kneeling. I am so good
at being a distraction and at
falling. Being trampled
underfoot, under wellies, under you
hurts at first, but really
it is just another turning.
Parts of me
will be eaten by such kindly, faithful
worms. Parts of me
will stalk your wedding photos, years from now
and see if I still pity, care or break.
If it’s all three, I’ll shut my eyes
pretend I am a leaf.
Becki Hawkes lives in London (United Kingdom). Her first pamphlet, The Naming of Wings, was a winner of the 2021 James Tate Poetry Prize. A Best of the Net nominee, she has had poems published in Ink, Sweat and Tears, Rust & Moth, The Shore, Lunate Fiction, and The Madrigal, among others. Becki is on Instagram @beckihawkes.
